In 1215 the English barons forced King John to sign Magna Carta (Great Charter) at Runnymede. This document was an important turning point in the history of the English monarchy.  The king did not want to agree to its provisions so why did he sign it?  The reason lay in John’s own character.  Losing Normandy and the other French lands was one of the first steps in the direction of Runnymede and it would not be the last.

You mean to say that the French soldiers gained access by charging up the garderobe chute?

Yeah, Goodness knows they surprised us all,  it really was the most unexpected assault route!

And by doing so they gained  entry to our beloved Normandy in order to burn, rape and loot!

Well that’s exactly what happened, and some are saying that dear King John needs the boot!

 This sentiment would gradually spread and eventually gain momentum amongst the nobility over the next few years.  However, in the meantime, the embarrassing way that Normandy was lost was a source of considerable discomfort to the king.

Ohh!  The chortles and guffaws regarding toilets that greeted John as he slunk back into England must have caused him great dismay.

Toilet humour held sway, it was most certainly and indeed most properly the order of the day!

After all it was the garderobe chute built by King John which resulted in the English crown being driven from the fray!

‘At your convenience, your majesty’ was simply no longer part of the script followed by domestic factotums when the king visited the various royal households after the debacle of Chateau Gaillard.  Toilet jokes were doing the rounds in the hostelries and taverns of England in the aftermath of the crown’s ignominious ejection from Normandy. A gang of raucous youths at the back of the crowd at one gathering were heard to chant:

‘If your majesty had stuck with a simple chamber pot, you would not have lost the whole continental lot!

But you insisted on building that wretched garderobe and this is what you have jolly well got!’

The pointed resentment of the populace at the circumstances of the king’s arrival at Rochester castle was clearly made manifest.  The slyly smirking sentries deliberately positioned across the moat from the base of the garderobe by a royal official with a healthy sense of humour, their shoulders contorting with mirth as the king passed, was a sight hardly calculated to alleviate John’s rather downbeat  mood as he entered the castle’s portals for a night’s rest and respite. The soldiers grinning visages, with their spears jeeringly pointing to the garderobe chute of Rochester castle, constituting a veritable nightmare for John even before the bed chamber candles had been extinguished.

Rochester castle as it stands today.

Nevertheless, the king was soon scheming to get back at the man whom he had bitterly termed as ‘De-esgusting’ Augustus.  In this endeavour John had to face a rather awkward fact of life, many of his barons including the much respected William Marshall owed allegiance to the French king because they also held lands in France.

William Marshall in combat as depicted by contemporary historian, Matthew Paris.

For this reason a sizeable number of them declined to support John’s campaign to wrestle his former lands from ‘De-esgusting’ Augustus.  The French king was not slow to remind the barons of the implications of the situation:

‘You Anglo Norman barons hold your French estates at my generous pleasure!

If you support John, upon your heads I will bring a really quite considerable amount of pressure!’

 John’s two predecessors Henry II and Richard, faced with the same obstacle of potentially divided baronial loyalties, were able to overcome it whereas he was unable to do so.  Therein lay the measure of the man and indeed there too, was to be found the source of the first step on the path to the field at Runnymede.

In May of 1206, John returned to France making his way to Poitou where the nobles, although not greatly enamoured of him, were somewhat less so of the King of France.  Well, perhaps it appears that John, rather than Philip, appeared the lesser of two evils as a consideration in the barons fickle but understandably self-serving political calculations.  In any case John managed to consolidate support in the region and in September he crossed the Loire to Normandy.

The flag of Poitou.

However John’s endeavours failed to match his aims and little more than a month later in October, he concluded a most embarrassing two year truce with King Philip ‘de-esgusting’ Augustus. To many on either side of the English Channel, John’s military talents appeared to be really quite sorely, indeed dangerously lacking.

Both in England and in France, he was cruelly mocked as King John ‘softsword’!

But in truth, t’was the only title that anyone, unto John, could duly award!

So John! Yea John is a monarch that a kingdom can ill afford!

Bringing it all back home!

John’s conduct in England was no more distinguished than it had been on French territory. One of John’s less enlightened initiatives was to replace some of the English shire sheriffs with the French mercenary chieftains whom he had inexplicably grown to trust. These rough fellows had made a thorough nuisance of themselves in Normandy and would proceed to the do the same in England. Taxation had never been particularly popular, but giving the task of extracting the revenue to foreigners whose modus operandi was considerably less than diplomatic, made it even less palatable.  The newly installed foreign officials also earned the intense resentment of the English nobility who were angered at being displaced by them as the king’s counsellors.

Recently widowed? Time to remarry!

However with John as king there could be reason to tarry!

Imagine holding a grieving, widowed lady to high ransom!

Over her desire to marry a man whom she finds so incredibly handsome!

John’s treatment of noble widows was an significant paving stone on the the road to Runnymede. The medieval monarch had the right to demand a payment from a moneyed widow in the event of her marrying again.  His predecessors had asked the ladies for a relatively light fee, but John now exacted a greatly inflated amount to gain his permission for the nuptials to take place.

Hey honey!

Really looking forward to seeing you at the steps of the altar!

Mmm, gorgeous, but with the king’s high price, marital proceedings might well falter!

The years of the royal reign that John had so greatly coveted had not been kind. The king had lost much of the Angevin empire but he was now steering a course that was to lose him even more.

‘You know Johnny you are sliding back to being:  I, John lack land’!

‘Johnny, you forgot that you have to keep faith with your original loyal band’!

‘But Johnny…. you didn’t, well, perhaps you couldn’t!

So your huge inherited empire eventually turned into sand’!

News of John’s appalling and foolish conduct in Normandy was music to the ears of Philip ‘de-esgusting’ Augustus.  The king of France had long cast covetous eyes over its green and fertile terrain.

The year of 1204 was not a happy one for King John.  In March, ‘de-esgusting’ Augustus won an important victory over him and in April, his mother, the inimitable Eleanor died at the age of about eighty one .

The death of a woman who was married to both the king of England and the king of France, and whose two sons also wore the crown of England, cannot go without appropriate comment.

R.I.P

Eleanor of Acquitaine.

This remarkable woman, who had been the wife of two kings and also the mother of two more, died at Fontevraud on March 31st 1204.  The two marriages brought happiness to neither bride nor the bridegroom.

Eleanor’s first husband, King Louis VI of France whom she married in 1137 was the father of King Philip Augustus, the future nemesis of the Plantagenet clan.

The marriage ceremony of King Louis of France and Eleanor of Aquitaine.

In 1147 Eleanor had accompanied Louis on the Second Crusade, and endured its rigours with her customary enthusiasm and fortitude.  However, when the union produced no son, the couple had had their marriage annulled on grounds of consanguinity.  This was ironic as Eleanor would bear five sons with her second husband Henry II of England whom she married in 1152.  To live to be over eighty in the 12th century was quite an incredible feat, and longevity was clearly a boon to a woman who believed that life was for living to the full.  In Eleanor’s case a long life did not come without some considerable personal cost and tragedy.  Of the ten children  that Eleanor bore, only two, Eleanor of Castille and John would survive her.

Joan of Sicily who would predecease her mother.

In August of 1203 the French King made his move by besieging the Lionheart’s flagship Chateau Gaillard, eventually capturing it in the next melancholy year.  Situated on the bank of the Seine at Andelys, Richard had built this massive castle to act as an impregnable obstacle to Philip ‘de-esgusting’ Augustus in the event of his attempting to invade Normandy.  Indeed, Chateau Gaillard was generally considered as being impervious to assault, but the fickleness of the Lionheart’s younger brother King John had yet to be factored in.  It was the events at Chateau Gaillard that  would earn John his nickname ‘softsword’.

The commander of the Chateau Gaillard was the loyal Roger de Lacy from Pontrefact in Yorkshire.  Confident behind the castle’s huge defensive walls, de Lacy did nonetheless expect John to send the necessary supplies and also an army to successfully raise the siege.  In the event, neither expectation was realised and the siege would last eight months.

John conceived a plan to raise the siege, which consisted of a combined strategy involving a closely concerted land and water borne  attack manoeuvre.  It was a bold and really quite imaginative strategy which was calculated to  succeed, but unfortunately for John and fortuitously for ‘de-sgusting’ Augustus, circumstances dictated otherwise.  Roger de Lacy had destroyed the nearby bridge in order to stop the French army from being able to move from one side of the Seine to the other.  King Philip ordered that a line of boats be placed across the Seine to act as a substitute bridge.

Chateau Gaillard as it is today.

John decided to send heavily armed supply boats which were to destroy the French ‘boat-bridge’ and then deliver the urgently needed provisions to the besieged army.  Simultaneously, a land force was to attack the besiegers who, once their bridge of boats had been destroyed, would be trapped on one bank of the Seine with their backs to the river.

Sadly for John, his attempt to defeat Philip ‘de-esgusting’ Augustus on the banks of the Seine were all in vain!

This failure would result in the loss of Normandy, Anjou, most of Poitou and all of  Maine!

However, the supply flotilla failed to arrive on time because John’s commanders had misjudged the timing of the currents.  This miscalculation ensured the failure of the land borne assault. Initially, the attack by John’s forces under William Marshall was successful, as the French were taken by surprise.  But because their ‘boat-bridge’ was still intact, the French were able to retreat across it to the other bank and regroup in preparation for a counter-attack.  The French army’s endeavours were successful, and John’s army was driven back.  John also tried to draw the besiegers away by wreaking havoc in Brittany but Philip ‘de-esgusting’ Augustus failed to take the bait.  In despair, John gave up on Chateau Gaillard and to the disgust of his followers decamped for England.  The siege continued into the spring of 1204.

John’s brother, the Lionheart had designed and built the massive structure that was and is Chateau Gaillard.  The fortress’s  high towers, immense walls and the rooftops of its lofty chambers, made it an incredible sight to behold to anyone sailing casually along the Seine.  It was the Lionheart’s memorial and monument, constructed to defend and also to endure.  A towering construction built by a sovereign who towered over others.

Kid brother John’s only contribution to the vast building was the addition of a chapel and a garderobe, in other words, a toilet.  It was John’s decision to cater for the voiding of his bladder and bowels whilst residing there that were to have fatal consequences not only for Chateau Gaillard but also for the Angevin empire.

King John built a toilet by the chapel so that when he went to pray he would not be caught short!

Because of the king’s need of a convenience, we are now going to lose the whole damn fort!

The French army were able to reach the outer bailey by conventional methods of warfare such as siege engines.

The defenders then retreated to the inner bailey.  The French soldiers happened to notice the chute of John’s recently built lavatory, and realised that this offered them a relatively safe but foul-smelling and extremely slippery passageway to the inner bailey.  Clambering up,  sliding  and slipping amidst the faecal matter that inevitably gathered along the toilet tunnel, Philip’s men must have been euphoric at the shock that they were about to deliver to the garrison.  History does not record whether the toilet was being used at the time, but if it was, this would be for one unsuspecting soldier, the very last call of nature.  There would never be another!

Soon John’s men were surprised by hordes of French soldiers dripping with urine and covered in excrement as they hurtled towards the startled defenders.  The oncoming stench twisting their nostrils, the besieged soldiers tried their best to repel the fetid intruders.  One of John’s men may well have crudely remarked:

This battle is really going down the toilet!

Another might have replied:

No! the problem is actually coming up through the toilet!

The sewage encrusted French soldiers with their their filth smeared weapons drove John’s men back as they fought to stand their ground in the Chateau’s vast domain.

‘I know that war is a dirty business but this is ridiculous!

Abandoned by his king, Roger de Lacy, knowing that he had no option surrendered to Philip ‘de-esgusting’ Augustus in March 1202.  This capitulation, along with the death of his mother only weeks later, made the spring of 1204 an especially memorable, nay unforgettable, one for King John.  However, worse was yet to come for the last of Henry and Eleanor’s sons.

King Henry II and Queen Eleanor at court. Together at the apex of the Angevin empire.

By 1206, John had been relieved of most of the Plantagenet family’s continental possessions.  So now King John was rightly named John ‘Lackland’.

‘The King of England, John, may be my uncle!

But to me he is nothing more than an obnoxious carbuncle!

My thanks to you, King Philip for granting me this, my promised inheritance of land!

I acknowledge you as my rightful liege, King Philip Augustus, so high and most grand!’

So say, Arthur, Duke of Brittany (1187-1202/3)

In July of 1202 the grateful teenager, Duke Arthur of Brittany, paid homage to King Philip Augustus for Anjou, Aquitaine and Poitou.  Philip would retain Normandy as his own vassal state.

‘Good career move kid!

Mutual felicitations are now warmly bid!

Of your evil uncle King John, we will both soon be rid!’

It was a truly joyous meeting between the old fox, King Philip Augustus and the young pup, Arthur of Brittany.

This cosy arrangement engendered a swift response from a most affronted uncle John, who promptly arrived in Normandy with an army.  Would he ever be free of King Philip ‘de-esgusting‘ Augustus?  Goodness knows he feared that he would never be!

De-esgusting Augustus with his machinations has always made us Plantagenet’s cross!

He has proved himself to the clan, a veritable and terrible Albatross!

Every time that there was a Plantagenet family dispute, ‘De-esgusting’  Augustus could always be relied upon to stick his nose into it.  John had an ally in his mother Eleanor of Aquitaine, who vigorously supported her youngest and only surviving son in the defence of his empire.  The formidable eighty year old was soon under siege at Mirebeau by her teenage grandson, Duke Arthur who was enthusiastically aided by the Lusignans.  This was the summer of 1202.

‘Tis my solemn duty to rescue my beloved, bestially besieged mother!

I, King John! Yes, I, John am her only son, God knows, there is no other!

She has been insidiously surrounded by forces commanded by the son of my late brother!

To state that John rode to the rescue of his mother at Mirebeau with all speed was something of   an understatement.  On this occasion, John showed uncharacteristic  military flair.  The time was late July and by August 1st, he had defeated the rebel forces besieging his mother.  John had not only rescued Queen Eleanor, but had also captured Arthur of Brittany.  King Philip ‘de-esgusting’  Augustus was therefore forced to retreat from Normandy, his grand plan having failed.  By the close of 1202, John had regained total control of Poitou.  King John now seemed master of all that he surveyed.

King John in a stately pose.

But what of young Arthur?

Art, with the help of the king of France, you made a promising start!

But, Art, in any future events you will not take any part!

Once taken into his uncle’s custody and held at Rouen, the young Duke was seen no more.  It is rumoured that John personally killed the boy in a drunken frenzy and tossed his body into the river Seine.  True or otherwise, Arthur’s disappearance earned him the undying enmity of the Breton people.

The fruits of victory will always at first taste sweet!

But if not wisely nurtured, will soon become as foul as rotten meat!

John now began to antagonize his own supporters.  Perhaps his euphoria at having so easily defeated his upstart nephew, as well as thwarting the designs of the ever present Philip ‘de-esgusting ‘ Augustus, had affected his judgement.

 Mercenaries were regarded as a distasteful but absolutely essential component of any medieval leader’s military machine.  They were to be hired as required, tolerated and dismissed when necessity no longer demanded their presence and maintenance.  However, John now appeared to favour the faithless mercenary commanders over his loyal, long established Norman barons. Indeed, the king placed a number of these soldiers of fortune in positions of authority to which they were singularly unsuited.

You have raised these brigands above men that are known to be stout and true!

This is folly and constitutes an act that you will eventually and sorely rue!

Continue in this vein and your followers will not be many, but really quite few!

He gave free rein to one particularly rapacious mercenary chief, Lupescar, to pillage areas of Normandy at will.  This irresponsible action was not calculated to bolster local support and would later cost John dear. King John would repeat these very same errors in England with greatly unfortunate and unforeseen results.

A good life!

John before the avalanche of strife!

Fortune now afforded a time of solace in the life of John, the spectre of discord, military disaster and territorial losses could not have been further from his unbalanced mind as he reclined with the divine Isabella in the royal bedchamber.  The prince who was expected to inherit very little and was dubbed ‘John Lackland’ now lacked for nothing.  He had become the master of  the entire Angevin empire just as his father, Henry II (dear papa) and his brother Richard had been. John’s totally unexpected good fortune had been crowned with a marriage to a very beautiful woman so life was now utterly sublime.

It is said that love conquers all and as a consequence,  the flow of royal business came to a temporary halt.

The newly married royal couple now embarked on their honeymoon!

John so deeply enchanted that, whenever he saw Isabella he would positively swoon!

John clearly enjoyed his honeymoon with Isabella mark II in the late summer of 1200.  Indeed so enamoured were they of each other’s company it is said that the King and Queen rarely rose from their bed before twelve in the day.  John and Isabella, basking in this glow of early marital bliss, might be imagined to comment:

My goodness, Issy,  just look at the time, a hearty morsel I could gladly munch!

Alas! Dearest Johnny, ’tis rather late to be served breakfast and indeed somewhat too early to take lunch!

No matter my dear Issy, we shall now prepare to partake of a convivial brunch!

However, there was to be no such agreeable dalliance with the continental magnates whom John had upset with his high-handed manner.

A fourteenth century painting depicting John in a relaxed frame of mind. This happy interlude was not to last.

John was angry with Hugh of Lusignan’s ‘sour grapes’ attitude, as he had been replaced as groom by John to Isabella, at quite literally the last minute.  John instructed his subordinates to give Hugh as much grief as possible, whilst he himself remained in England.  This was to lead to considerable unexpected and unforeseen long term unpleasantness.  Hugh as a vassal of the French crown had a helpline, in the event of his being harassed.  That point of aid was the right of appeal to the king, the Angevin nemesis, Philip ‘Disgusting’ Augustus.  John might be the king of England, but Hugh complained about his behaviour not as a foreign monarch, but as Duke of Aquitaine to their joint overlord, King Philip.

In England, John as king, you have great power!

In France you must bend the knee to he who is represented by the fleur de lis flower!

Hugh was perfectly within his rights to complain about John as Duke of Aquitaine to the king of France, if he felt that he was being treated unjustly.  Philip, as part of his regal responsibilities, was duty bound to investigate Hugh’s grievances.  However, some might say that Philip, given his track record with the Angevin kings, might have been seen as a somewhat less than an impartial arbiter in any dispute involving this particular dynasty.

Philip Augustus, King of France.

King Philip  summoned John to attend court in Paris on April 28th 1202 to answer for his poor treatment of Hugh of Lusignan in his capacity as Duke of Aquitaine (not as King of England).  John declined the order, as he no doubt felt that as a king himself, it would be outrageous that he be placed in such an abject situation as ‘the accused’.  John was beside himself with indignation.

‘Aw, you’re, you know, well, you’re just so disgusting, Augustus!’

You say that you are only enacting laws that are there to be simply used!

Accused? This is a case of an anointed king being diabolically abused!’

No king had ever been called before a court and John most certainly did not intend to be the first, so he duly ignored the royal summons to attend the hearing.  It must be said that the idea of an sovereign king having to account for himself before a court was something that very much disturbed people at the time.  But then again, the situation of one individual being anointed king of one country and vassal of the crown in another, was a recent development and a consequence of the Norman conquest of England.

At the appointed time for him to appear before the court the call was not:

‘Heere’s Johnny’ 

But rather:

 ‘Johnny’s no heere’!

My status is royal, and to this God bestowed birthright, I will remain loyal!

You! Yes you, ‘Disgusting’ Augustus are to me nothing but a repulsive gargoyle!

My goodness how you verily make my blood boil!

Your indecent machinations I fully and ultimately intend to foil!

Hugh was not the only vassal of Philip whom John had offended. In politics, one needs if not friends, but certainly allies in order to create alliances which are necessary for survival. John was swiftly running out of both.  By refusing to attend court, John had given Philip‘Disgusting’ Augustus a god sent opportunity. The French King, quite reasonably, in a technical sense found John to be in contempt of court and therefore of the French crown. King Philip decided that as a punishment, that the territories  held by John were to be forfeit. Philip declared that Normandy would be returned to the French crown whilst the other lands were to be transferred to John’s nephew, Arthur, Duke of Brittany, son of the late and unlamented Geoffrey.

This decision would have fatal consequences for both uncle and nephew.

Indeed the initial and subsequent actions of the two regal protagonists would result in a turning point in the course of European history.

Now begins a reign which for this particular king, would end in shameful pain!

For Phil ‘disgusting’ Augustus, it was gain and gain over and over again!

John was never expected to be king, so his father Henry II who had actually given him the nickname ‘Lack land’, decided to establish him as king of the newly acquired lands in Ireland.

The island of Ireland.

However John’s conduct on his trip across the Irish sea in 1185 had not endeared him to the Irish chieftains.  Gerald of Wales who had accompanied the young prince to Ireland reported that John and his entourage made fun of the Irish nobles, amusing themselves by tugging at their unruly beards.

John’s seal as king of Ireland.

John’s first diplomatic foray was somewhat less than successful, but Henry had made additional provision for his youngest son.

Wife number 1 – Issy from Gloucester.

Henry had  negotiated a marriage for John which would provide him with substantial lands. In 1189, John at the age of twenty two, had married Isabella of Gloucester at Marlborough castle in Wiltshire.  Isabella was the heiress of a large earldom on the Welsh Marches, and the marriage was arranged in order to solve the problem of John’s ‘lackland’ status.

The motte of Marlborough castle as it is today.

There was a slight problem that would have cast a shadow over the nuptials.  The couple were both great-grandchildren of Henry I, and therefore second cousins.  This made them within the condition of consanguinity, and such a union was forbidden by the church.  The Archbishop of Canterbury, Baldwin of Ford was totally opposed, but John said that he would get a papal dispensation to legitimise the union.  This was the year that Richard became king and John was not expected to ascend to the throne.

Isabella of Gloucester.

This unfortunate fact also marred another ceremony, John’s coronation in May 11199.  Isabella would not be crowned as queen because the church refused to accept the validity of her marriage to John.  Despite being married for ten years, John did not keep his promise to ask for a papal dispensation.  A disappointing start to the reign, but a moment of unpleasantness that evaporated into insignificance given the context of future happenings.

John adopts a royal stance!

He ensures his control over the Angevin lands in France!

Re-enter King Philip (disgusting) Augustus II of France.  The French king thought it politic to grant his seal of approval to John’s aspirations.

The seal of King Philip Augustus II of France.

The King of France’s support for Arthur had led to rebellions in Anjou, Maine and Touraine against John which he quickly crushed.  John was the third Plantagenet king with whom Philip (disgusting) Augustus had had to deal with and he would bide his time.  At the Treaty of Le Goulet, agreed in May 1200, Philip acknowledged John as the heir to the Lionheart’s continental lands but he had to swear fealty to the French King as overlord.  Philip’s view of the future might be summed up in the following way:

‘I am prepared to take my time and play the long game!

I have some experience of those kings of the Plantagenet name!

This particular member of the family, unlike the other two, I will ultimately tame!’

Conduct unbecoming.

‘Oh Johnny, bad, bad behaviour, what’s new?

Alas, what else would any of us ever expect from you!’

Wife number 2 – Issy from Angouleme.

John’s capacity for behaviour of an unbecoming nature continued undiminished as he proceeded in his regal role.  The king decided to put aside his wife, Isabella of Gloucester and choose another consort.  This in itself was not regarded as being beyond the pale in an age when marriage was considered as a required vehicle of material convenience.  However, the manner in which he conducted the arrangements of his second marriage most certainly was.

John’s marriage to Isabella of Gloucester was annulled on grounds of consanguinity.  Nothing wrong there, in fact it was merely seen as the rectifying of an unfortunate error.  Another Isabella had become the focal point of John’s lecherous and greedy eye.  This was the twelve year old Isabella of Angouleme who was renowned for her beauty.

Isabella of Angouleme.

Isabella’s famed beauty was one attraction for John, but there was another.  Isabella was already engaged to another man, Count Hugh de Lusignan.  Their union would mean that Isabella’s lands and Hugh’s would become as one, and this would pose a threat to the Angevin empire.  Hugh, although a man of wealth and status, could not match the King of England.  Also, because of his position as Count of Poitou, John was Hugh’s overlord and felt that he was within his rights to stop the marriage and take Isabella as his own bride.

Coat of arms of the House of Lusignan,

Isabella’s father judged that a King would prove to be a more favourable suitor than a mere Count for his daughter, and was happy with the arrangement.  John’s message to the jilted Count was :

‘I am sorry Hugh but this is simply not your cue!

Please don’t cause trouble, because if you do!

Please remember that my followers are many and yours are but few!’

John and Isabella were duly married at Bordeaux on August 24th 1200.  Hugh chose not to heed the warning from John and swore vengeance on his liege as John was as Duke of Acquitaine.  Although early in his reign, the seeds of John’s downfall were already sown.

 

King John.

1166-1216.

Richard’s decision to name John as his successor was not greeted with unanimous approval. The word on the street was:

‘Richard left everything, you mean, the entire outfit to John, his kid brother?’

The only living son of Queen Eleanor, the royal mother!

‘You got to be kidding!’ 

‘There’s more than a few who will be reluctant to do his bidding!’

The Lionheart had died without leaving a legitimate male heir so with his dying breath he named John as his successor.  Some said that the son of Richard’s and John’s brother Geoffrey, Arthur Duke of Brittany had a stronger claim to the Angevin empire.  No matter, Richard bequeathed all to his younger brother.  Upon hearing of the Lionheart’s demise, John immediately proceeded to his father’s favourite palace, Chateau Chinon, not for reasons of nostalgia, but with a view to taking possession of the treasury there.

So the youngest of Henry II’s and Queen Eleanor’s five sons who was expected to inherit very little, hence the nickname, ‘sans terre’ is now the master of the entire empire.  A domain that he had coveted for so very long and one that he would lose in an exceedingly short space of time.

However, this was all in the future, and John’s jubilation at his own coronation at Westminster in May of 1199 can only be imagined.  He!  Yes he, John, who had grown up in the shadow of his illustrious older brethren, Henry the Young King and of course the Lionheart, Richard, had at last come into his own!

‘His four older brothers had all suffered from things that seriously affected their health!

‘Leaving kid brother, now King John with all of the family wealth!’

Scant attention had ever been paid to John, the youngest son of this right royal brood of brothers.  He, who had been expected to be no more than the overlord of a territory located in the  inconsequential island of Ireland, was now ruler of the entire Angevin empire.

The French territories of the Angevin empire. Only the southern tip of England, the veritable jewel in the crown is shown. The booby prize, the eastern area of Ireland is not depicted at all.

The eyes of Christendom were upon John as he walked in solemn, but joyful, procession into Westminster Abbey to be anointed and crowned as king.

Westminster Abbey in King John’s time.

He must have been thinking of his ancestor, William the Conqueror who had been crowned there more than one hundred and thirty years before, and of course Richard, who had been anointed as king a mere ten years earlier.  It really was a case of:

Heeere’s Johnny!!!

The youngest brother of a brood  who was never considered as someone destined to rule!

John will now sit upon the throne of England truly regal and cool!

However storm clouds were appearing upon the horizon.  Arthur’s mother, Constance of Brittany, was indignant at what she regarded as her son’s disinheritance, and decided to contest the succession.  In this, Constance was supported by powerful interests in France not least, the king, Philip II (disgusting) Augustus.  Not for the first time, Philip (disgusting) Augustus pursued a policy of sowing discord within the Angevin empire.  When it came to political sweet talk, King Philip Augustus was in a class of his own:

King Philip Augustus (L) saying to Duke Arthur of Brittany (R):

‘Artie, I couldn’t stand your grandpa or your uncles, but I was fond of Geoffrey, your dad!’

‘John has taken what is rightfully yours and that makes me feel real sad!’

‘Art, when your dad was killed after been thrown from his horse!’

‘I was so upset, that for days on end, I cried myself completely and totally hoarse!’

Philip went on to say:

‘Art, in your attempt to regain what is rightfully yours!

 I humbly request to take part!’.

Arty! Yes honestly, Arty!

My greatest wish is to be the guest of honour at your coronation party!’

King John’s treatment of his nephew, Duke Arthur, attracted considerable attention at the time and remains an indelible stain on John’s reputation.  The young Duke was never to attain what he considered to be his birthright, and he would die in obscure circumstances at a very early age as a guest of uncle John.

There were to be three monarchs who would rule England during the course of the 13th century. Two of whom would be king for a considerable length of time.  John’s reign would be by far the shortest of the three and its ending certainly the most ignominious.

Why so?

Well to find out,yes to get in the know!

Further along we must go!

Swinging London, and how the citizenry did cheer and the church bells ring!

Joyful at their king’s return, of blessed, brave Richard and his deeds, they did sing!

The streets of London were adorned with banners befitting the return of a king.  Richard basked in the adulation of his subjects, but circumstances precluded a lengthy period of rest and relaxation.  Due to the machinations of brother John, also known as John Lackland, some unfinished business remained.  The treacherous younger sibling had placed some forces, loyal to his disloyal person, encamped in various castles throughout the realm

So John had left Richard some mopping up to do.  The Lionheart had never baulked at getting his hands dirty and he approached the cleansing task with characteristic gusto and vigour.  He would reassert his seal of approval over England.

King Richard’s Great Seal.

This is my royal seal,

‘Tis the only viable deal!

Submit to my will, get real!

If you resist, I will certainly let you know how I feel!

Well, Richard did, and there were more than a few hard feelings.  A swift campaign in Cornwall and Nottingham cleared up the running sore created by brother John.  At the latter venue, Nottingham castle,  a large gallows was constructed in full view of the besieged, so that they could witness the death throes  of their garrison colleagues unlucky enough to be captured by the Lionheart.

Swing high! Swing low!

You have upset me, now watch how things will go!

 ‘Tis a choice between rope or hope!

Get sense! Don’t be a dope!

The castle soon surrendered.  This would not be the last time that Nottingham castle would feature as the scene of a royal power struggle.  Richard’s strategy was successful and the entire realm was  loyal once more.  In order to drive the point home Richard, for the first time in English history, decided to have himself crowned for a second time.  This time the coronation venue would be Winchester cathedral.

A second coronation!

This time without the first’s aggravation!

To leave no one in doubt as to who is supreme head of the English nation!

But what of brother John?  He, known as John Lackland?

An understandably aggrieved Richard declared John’s lands forfeit and he was arraigned on a charge of treason in his absence.  Brother John, of course, had decamped to Normandy as soon as he had heard of Richard’s imminent return.  The Lionheart now decided to catch up with brother John and more importantly, ‘Disgusting Augustus’.  The French king had invaded Normandy and Richard was determined to eject his nemesis with all possible speed.  In May 1194, in the company of his mother, Eleanor, Richard landed at Barfleur in Normandy.

The arms of the port of Barfleur.

The prodigal brother John abandoned by Philip Augustus,  presented himself to Richard and was immediately forgiven for past transgressions.  Richard mounted a masterful and extremely energetic campaign against ‘Disgusting Augustus’.  The French king was no match for Richard’s military ability and he soon beat a hasty retreat.  Richard and Philip Augustus agreed an uneasy peace agreement, the Treaty of Louviers in January 1196. However, Richard resolved to take additional precautions to thwart any attempted incursion into Normandy from the French king.

The Lionheart decided to construct a huge castle high above the river Seine.  The castle would guard the Seine valley route into Normandy.  It was to be called Chateau Gaillard and it would incorporate the most up to date, sophisticated, defensive features of castle architecture and no expense was spared in its construction.

The castle was quite simply Richard’s pride and joy.  Indeed, he would lovingly refer to it as his one year old child after its completion.  Chateau Gaillard would be captured by ‘Disgusting Augustus’ in 1204 but that was years after Richard’s death when brother John Lackland sat on the throne.

The endgame!

What’s in a name?

The Lionheart’s enduring fame!

A large amount of gold believed to have dated from Roman times was discovered by a peasant on land held by Viscount Aymar of Limoges in the spring of 1199.  Richard as Aymar’s overlord declared that the treasure was rightfully his.  The impudent Aymar refused, but offered Richard half of the treasure trove as if he were dealing with a man of equal rank.  To the Lionheart this was an act of inexcusable impertinence.  Richard resolved to take possession of the gold and swiftly departed for the castle at Chalus where Aymar had deposited it.  Laying siege to the sparsely defended castle, Richard was inspecting the progress of his sappers as they worked to undermine its fortifications.  Reckless to the end, Richard ventured close without his chain mail and was struck with a crossbow in the shoulder.  The wound turned gangrenous and Richard writhed in agony fully aware that death was inevitable. The seventy- seven year old Eleanor quickly travelled to Chalus to be at her dearest son’s bedside.  Richard did not neglect his responsibilities regarding the succession, he named his brother John as his heir.

The fatal wound!

Just before he died on April 6th 1199, Richard asked to see the bowman who had delivered the fatal arrow.  It is said that he was but a boy and instead of punishing the young marksman, the Lionheart set him free with a purse of gold coins.  However, this final act of magnanimity on Richard’s part is said to have been rescinded by the king’s senior subordinate, and the boy was slowly skinned alive once the Lionheart had breathed his last.

King Richard was entombed at Fontevraud Abbey in Anjou at the feet of his father, Henry II in April 1199; Eleanor would join them there in 1204 at the age of 82.

Richard!  You thought that the Saracens of the east were your ultimate foe!

No!  It is back in Europe that those whose characters are so despicably low!

They capture you! Jail you!  Then demand a huge ransom to let you go!

Richard’s journey away from Palestine did not mean that he was leaving his enemies behind. Far from it!  Saladin may have been his opponent, but now it was his fellow Christians who would prove to be his real foes.  Indeed, he probably had more adversaries in Europe than in the middle east.  The King of France Philip Augustus , once a dear boyhood friend, was now in league with his own treacherous brother John in an attempt to take his lands in both England and France. Things had soured greatly since the great crusader victory at Acre.  When as equal, regal monarchs they had both sat together and acknowledged the surrender of the Saracen garrison.

The Way We Were!

Philip Augustus (centre) and Richard (left) accept the keys of Acre.

‘He’s no longer my friend, Philip Augustus!

But my bitter foe, Disgusting Augustus!’

Posing as a wealthy merchant, Richard decided to travel through the Adriatic sea, thereby avoiding the King of France’s jurisdiction.  This was not all.  There were others with whom he could expect no welcome of audience.  The Lionheart was on very poor terms with the Holy Roman Emperor, Henry VI.  Richard had also grievously offended Duke Leopold of Austria during the battle for Acre and the Austrian still nursed a grudge.

This was most unfortunate as he had to pass through Leopold’s domain to reach Saxony and the safety of the fiefdom of his brother-in-law, Henry the Lion.  So, given the circumstances, a low profile was the most appropriate mode of conduct.

‘To be neither seen nor heard!

Was the method of procedure preferred!’

However a rather unfortunate incident occurred!’

Such is misfortune and ultimately it was the people of England who were forced to pay an enormous fortune. Richard was spotted when he became ill and stopped to rest at a tavern south of Vienna.  It was now December 1192 and he was duly delivered into the custody of a delighted Duke Leopold who was beginning his Christmas festivities.  This was an unexpected Christmas present for the Duke and one that exceeded his wildest expectations. The pope Celestine III had been keen to encourage Christians to take up the cross and therefore had declared that it was wrong to imprison a returning crusader without due cause.  This papal edict was known as the Peace of God, the penalty for breaking it was excommunication from the Catholic church.

Pope Celestine III

‘But Leopold feeling so bold!

Elected to stray from the Catholic  fold!

He decided that he would not toe the papal line!

Leopold declared!  Oh vengeance, so sweet, is mine!

How very divine!

For your freedom Richard, England must pay an enormous fine!’

Leopold, realising that he could hold Richard for a king’s ransom, decided that it was worth the risk.  Richard was ensconced in comfortable but closely guarded captivity at Durnstien castle on the banks of the Danube.  In his defiance of papal authority, Leopold was supported by his liege, Henry VI of Germany, the Holy Roman Emperor.

Durnstien castle.

Both Leopold and Henry were subsequently excommunicated for their behaviour, but this did little to deter them from what they regarded as a most promising financial enterprise.  Henry decided that the price for Richard’s release would be 100,000 marks, a colossal sum for the time. This figure was later  increased to 150,000.

Henry VI, Holy Roman Emperor.

Richard’s whereabouts were not known in England at this point and his mother, Queen Eleanor was frantic with worry about the fate of her favourite son.

Eleanor of Aquitaine

When England received the ransom note, it was not entirely bad news to this mother’s ears!

In fact the avaricious demand served to allay this elderly lady’s worst fears!

It mercifully served to wipe away her most bitterest tears!

The dowager sprung into action with an energy which belied her advanced years!

However the king of France, Philip (disgusting) Augustus was also keen in ‘buying’ Richard, or at least delaying his release.  In this endeavour he was supported by Richard’s brother John. Their intention was to grapple the Lionheart’s empire from him while he was incarcerated.  They did not reckon on the formidable Eleanor, who oversaw the collection of the funds to pay the ransom. England’s finances were drained and the people grievously taxed to ensure the return of their king.

Richard returned to England in March 1194 to a tumultuous welcome from the city of London. There was no welcome of a fraternal nature from brother John. For (kid) brother John had fled to Normandy.

To many a crusader, the aim of the sojourn was Jerusalem or bust!

Now with an overwhelming, unbearable sense of disgust!

They saw their noble ambition turn as to dust!

Richard and the crusaders were clearly distraught that their endeavour to liberate the sacred city of Zion had ended in failure.  In the first instance Richard decided to retreat from Jerusalem in July of 1192.  However, there were further hostilities and these actually showed Richard’s military acumen at its very best.

On July 31st, Saladin attacked Jaffa and the garrison were beaten back into the city’s legendary citidel.  Richard decided to break the siege by dividing his army into two.  He would lead a contingent by sea, while the rest would march and meet at Jaffa.  Approaching Jaffa on his galley, Richard was horrified at what he saw and stood dumbstruck with mortification.  The Saracens were attacking the citadel and the besieged Christians appeared on the brink of defeat.  It was clear that the Saracens heavily outnumbered the crusader army, who desperately attempted to stave off the onslaught.  Standing on the command galley, the Lionheart was engulfed with feelings of abject despair.  The crusader fleet sat still on the waters as the King contemplated the situation.

The priest seeing the King’s ship leapt from the city wall and into the sea!

Reaching Richard, he advised that prompt action would cause the Saracens to turn and flee!

The priest before he decided to take the plunge.

Richard took the plucky prelate’s advice and without further ado proceeded into the harbour. As the galley approached the port, Richard was the very first to jump ashore.  Roaring like a lion, Richard sword in hand, led his men to the fray and the Saracens did just what the priest predicted they would.  They turned tail, ran and kept running until they reached safety, a good many miles inland.

The huge Saracen army appeared to be a force that would be almost impossible to beat!

However the Lionheart would snatch victory from the jaws of defeat!

His retaking of Jaffa with breakneck speed, would be remembered by all as no mean feat!

Both sides realised that the crusader victory at Jaffa had created a situation of stalemate. There was no alternative but to negotiate, and a rather lengthy and torturous period of consultation was embarked upon.  For Richard there was an additional reason for wishing to arrange a treaty.  He had heard that his younger brother John and King Philip Augustus were plotting against him in both England and France.

Crusaders and Saracens confer.

On September 2nd a peace treaty between the two sides was agreed upon.  The settlement was in fact a victory for Saladin because he was to keep Jerusalem, but there were concessions. Saladin would allow Christian pilgrims to visit the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and other holy sites.

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

The crusaders would retain control of Acre and Jaffa as well as the coastal route connecting the two cities.  It is said that it is easy to be magnanimous in victory and the Sultan was most certainly that.  Saladin invited Richard to visit the city as his honoured guest but the Lionheart declined this generous courtesy.  Richard must have harboured an interest in meeting Saladin, who was his most enigmatic and able of adversaries, but curiosity has its limits.  The Lionheart had come to Palestine to recover Jerusalem for Christendom, but the venture had failed, the Third Crusade was no more.

If Richard could not enter Zion as liberator he would not step inside its hallowed gates as a mere visitor.  Richard’s spirits were understandably at their very lowest possible ebb as summer gave way to autumn.  His great Lion’s heart was on the verge of breaking, as he reflected upon the high hopes, the back-breaking labour and the enormous sacrifices that had characterised the Third Crusade from its inception in the heady days of 1190.

A fourteenth century illustration depicting Richard and Saladin in battle. But of course, the two leaders never actually met.

In October of 1192, the Lionheart, who had arrived with a large army on a fleet of 200 ships sailed from Palestine on a single vessel.  His departure was undoubtedly a muted affair and in truth he left not so much with an almighty roar but perhaps with more of a sorrowful sigh. Nonetheless Richard’s time in Palestine showed him at his most magnificent!  Indeed it was in the smallest of ways that the Lionheart’s magnificence came to the fore.

The great Lionheart was always prepared to play his part!

He would willingly discard his fine attire!

Enthusiastically and happily descending into the dusty mire!

To his men, he was now simply regal Rick,

Who energetically worked alongside them rebuilding defences brick by brick!

Who could forget how, when the fortifications required rebuilding, Richard donned the labourers humble tunic and personally helped rebuild the walls. The memory of him standing bare chested in the searing heat, tool in one hand and stone in the other as he toiled with his men, accepting no preferential treatment from the overseers.

Did a crown adorn this royal head?  Yea! Nay!  Only the same beads of sweat that emanated from the pores of the assembled ranks of enlisted men who toiled beside the Lionheart under the unforgiving,  unrelenting sun. The meagre fare that was doled out to the common soldiers was gladly accepted by Richard as he hunkered down beside them in a rare moment of respite from the punishing, almost debilitating labour.  The spittle laced jugs of dark, stagnant water passed from mouth to mouth were gratefully received, as were the concrete textured, enamel challenging loaves of bread offered as a means of sustenance.

The besieged Christians at Acre on the brink of catastrophic defeat just months before would always remember that despite being heavily outnumbered, he came to their aid and routed the Muslim forces.  This act of heroism and tactical skill saved their lives and secured the port for Christendom.  They would be forever in the Lionheart’s debt.

However this was all now in the past, but of course memories live on; as God be merciful, so they should.  On this particular day the inevitable, painful moment of  departure from the Holy Land beckoned.  Richard left Palestine for the first and last time.

The Third Crusade at sunset.