A Royal Christmas – The Plantagenet’s celebrate
The King and his court come together to celebrate Christmas and New Year!
But for Henry, later events would cause him to shed many a tear!
It was Christmas 1170 and Henry was taking stock of the year. The twelve days of this feast would have been a truly sumptuous affair. He celebrated with his Queen, Eleanor of Aquitaine, who had once been married to the King of France, Louis VII. Eleanor, who was a woman of great passion, once remarked of Louis that she had’ not married a King but a monk’. Her second husband Henry, was certainly no monk. The King, Eleanor and the princes and princesses were all together for the festivities.
Eleanor of Aquitaine (1122-1204)
During the feast, endless courses of venison and fowl and other delicacies were consumed with relish. The quality of the various wines was exquisite, and were drunk by the barrel as the court watched the entertainment.
However, King Henry was annoyed at the conduct of the Archbishop of Canterbury whom he had appointed. The king and the Archbishop, Thomas Beckett (Tom Becs) had now seriously fallen out.
We cannot be entirely sure as to how Henry was actually thinking, but it could not have been too far from what is recounted below.
‘Not a bad year I suppose! I got my boy, my pride and joy, Henry crowned as junior king in May. The only trouble was that I had to get him crowned by that kindly old duffer, Roger, Archbishop of York. Of course it should have been the Archbishop of Canterbury, Tom Becs but he had been nowhere near the Cathedral in years! The old hound was sulking and licking his wounds in France and snarling at anyone that he came across who was loyal to me.
The Pope has made me take him back and now he is prowling around the Cathedral grounds, cantankerous as a bear with an arrow shot through his vitals! Anyway let’s just enjoy Christmas and here’s to 1171!
The royal princes, especially Henry and Richard, would have been soaking up the atmosphere as they watched the clowns and tumblers perform in the colourfully decorated surroundings. The tunes flowed forth from the instruments played by the musicians and everyone ate, drank and made merry.
The minstrels in the gallery
To the Christmas festivities, we have all made a start!
Now, let us all watch Roland take the major part!
The highlight of the banquet was provided by a jester, one Roland le Fartere, whose prime duty was to provide the diners with an unusual entertainment in the form of a jump, whistle and then a breaking of anal wind. It has to be remembered that it was the custom for the royal party to be served their dinner first. So Henry would have finished eating when Roland began his act but his courtiers were still at work with their meal.
Roland would leap around the Great Hall whistling and breaking wind as the courtiers enjoyed the wonderful cuisine However, the courtiers were less than impressed. The odours of his innards mingling with the aroma of the vast amounts meats and spices served. The guests, some of the royal entourage must have felt a little nonplussed at this particular performance. Nevertheless Henry enjoyed Roland’s performance so much, that in return for this service he had given Roland a manor of 30 acres in Suffolk for a mere 12 nights work every Christmas.
‘Roland gleefully let loose his load of bowel perfume!
Twisting the nostrils of all and sundry in the room!
For simply making an almighty smell,
Didn’t Roland do incredibly well!’
The King was laughing so heartily that he could barely lift his head from the table, tears of absolute mirth streaming down his cheeks as he watched his guests recoiling in disgust as they attempted to eat their dinner. The king’s very sides were almost splitting as he, seated above and well away from the performance, surveyed the festive scene. Henry was merrily banging his fists down in sheer delight, he had never been more happy. Then something happened that stopped the festive merriment dead in its tracks.
Despite the huge amounts of Christmas booze ,
there then came news
which would give Henry a bad dose of the blues!
Amidst all the carousing and and general hilarity came a group of men whose solemn expressions left any onlooker in no doubt that they were clearly in no mood to celebrate anything. They were bishops from England who had come to tell Henry about Beckett’s actions.
The King was furious and began ranting and raving about the ingratitude of the court! He had given them all so much but they allowed him to be insulted ,
‘By a lowly born clerk’!
The guy’s a real 100% jerk!
Well we all know where this renegade does lurk?
He is reputed to have said:
‘Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest’.
He’s an absolute, total unruly beast!
Tom Bec’s has ruined a most enjoyable Christmas feast!
There were four Knights present who, when they heard these words, quietly slipped away and began to pack for the journey across the channel to Canterbury. Their baggage was heavy! Very heavy!